What to Do If You Think Your Husband Hates You


When you got married, I bet you would never – in a million years – think about asking yourself, “What if my husband hates me?”

Of course not.

When people go downstairs, they expect their partners to love them, treat them well, be their best friend, and live happily ever after. Then, one day (like today), you find yourself looking for a solution to a problem that you never thought possible.

But how did you get here?

What Causes Marital Anger and Hate?
How did it get to this point? Although it is different for every couple, there are certain factors that can lead to marital discord (even hatred) in a marriage [1]. Let’s look at a few of them.

Don’t pay attention
When someone gets married, most people – especially men – think, “Ahhhh… I’m married! Now I don’t have to do any more work on this relationship! “


In other words, they are lazy.

When dating, it is common for men to date. For others, it’s just a matter of life. However, if they think that “they have it,” then all their efforts are in vain.

But just because a lot of men get neglected doesn’t mean you can’t ignore your husband, either. It can be anywhere in your relationship – sex, love, attention, friendship… you name it. Therefore, look at your actions to see if you have ignored him in any way.

When people are lazy and neglected in marriage, it is often motivated by selfishness. And selfishness in marriage does not work.

Relationships are two ways. One person cannot give it all, while another does it all. If so, then it creates an unhealthy inequality between the two people.

When one person is selfish, resentment grows on the part of another person. No one wants to be a door to open and let us take advantage of him.


Cheating used to be a form of cutting and drying. In other words, you were cheating or you were not. In this age of technology, however, there is a lot of gray matter when it comes to deception, and it is not just physical cheating.

Indeed, sexual harassment is high on the list for most people when it comes to definition. However, emotional infidelity [2] is just as bad in a marriage as the body, and sometimes even worse.

Cheating destroys trust, or slows down over time, or in the event of a bomb drop. In any case, it has the power to cause long-term anger and even resentment.

Harassment also comes in many different forms. Yes, if someone hits you, that’s a form of abuse. But you do not need a black eye or a broken bone to find something you can count as bullying.


If someone calls you names, criticizes you, or tells you only bad things about you, that is harassment.

Abuse is something that will always lead to resentment and hatred in a marriage.

How to Tell If Your Spouse Does Not Hate You
Now that we have identified some of the factors that can lead to anger and resentment in marriage, let’s look at some of the signs [3] that can tell you that your spouse can hate you.

  1. You Fight All the Time
    Conflicts and disagreements are not always bad in a relationship. It is unreasonable to expect two people to agree on everything and then agree on everything.

However, what remains bad is when you fight unfairly and often. For example, if one or both parties need to fight to win the dispute and become “righteous,” that is a very unhealthy way to get along. If fighting is the cornerstone of your marriage, then that is a sign that one (or both) you may hate the other.

  1. Never Put Effort in Marriage
    This is closely related to neglect. If he does not put effort into the marriage, then he is caring. It may or may not be because he “hates you”, but it can be.

He should be nice to you, maintain friendships, be loving, and be a good partner. But if you feel that you are just a roommate (and maybe even friendly), that is not a good sign. He may feel like giving up – even if he has already stopped.

  1. You Don’t Have Too Much Sex (If So)
    The difference between friendship and love / marriage is physical intimacy. That may sound obvious, but, unfortunately, many people find themselves in loveless, sexless marriages.

So, if you do not remember the last time you both touched each other instead of giving them something in the kitchen, then the intimacy in your marriage may have ended. When people are married to someone they no longer love very much, then they will not feel like having sex with them.

  1. Taking Consent
    In a good world, no one should take anyone for granted. However, it seems to be happening all the time.

Sometimes, it’s just human nature. We are relieved of the current situation and expect things to remain the same. However, if you think about it, anything or anyone else can be taken away from us when the hat falls off.

So if you feel exploited and unloved, it could be an expression of disgust, or perhaps even hate.

  1. You Suspend You
    When someone feels resentment toward their partner, they will probably look elsewhere if they get the chance. Now, don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying this is right. In fact, it is not. Turning out of marriage does nothing to improve it or to ruin it all.

But if your mate has a similar hatred for you, it will make it easier for them to forgive you for their cheating. If they don’t like you anymore, then they probably won’t feel guilty about what they did.

  1. Mentally, Emotional, and / or Physical Abuse
    Harassment should NOT be okay. And I mean NEVER. I don’t care how bad you were to someone else, no one deserves to be abused.

Still, it is possible. Often, a mentally unstable person becomes a bully. They do so for a variety of reasons in the past that may or may not have happened to you. You can be a part of this integration, but if you are being bullied, it may mean that, among other things, he may be upset about something. But that doesn’t make it right.

What to Do If You Think Your Husband Hates You
If, after reading all of this, you still think your spouse hates you, then there are a few things you can do. Remember, getting back to the edge of hate is not easy. It can be done, but it requires a lot of effort on both sides.

  1. Find out if you want to make it work (or not)
    If you really feel that your husband hates you, you will need to have a good and long conversation with you. Do you want to stay? Why would you want to live in a world where there is nothing but hate in marriage? Be clear about what you want before making any decisions.
  2. Talk to Him
    You may not have had a real, honest, or healthy conversation with him for years. And you probably never really talked about the quality of your wedding. But if you have a desire to change your marriage, then you need to talk. It will not be easy if he hates you so much, but you still have to do it.
  3. Make a plan
    Once you’ve talked to him, then come up with a plan. Depending on the nature of the conversation, only one of the two may occur. Whether you say you want to try to work it out, or not. If he does not do so, the decision is yours to make. But if he is doing so, he needs help.
  4. Seek Advice
    Many people – especially men – think that going to a therapist is a sign of weakness. But in reality it is the opposite. Powerful people need help! Therefore, try to get him to agree to seek professional help. It is probably best for you to get some personal advice from couples and couples if you are able to do so.
  5. Divorce… If Necessary
    Sometimes, a marriage cannot be saved no matter how hard you try. It is sad, but sometimes it is better to move on with your life than to live in a hate-filled marriage. That way, you can start a new life together with love and happiness.

Final Thoughts
No one wants to be in a marriage full of hatred. That is not what the institution of marriage intended. Therefore, I hope you will decide to put your happiness first because when you are happy, your whole life will be happy too. It is not selfish, selfish, and it is really where happiness and satisfaction begin.



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