When you fall in love, you think your partner – and your relationship – is perfect, right? The idea that one of you can be emotionally stable is something that is very far from your mind. After all, being in love causes your brain to release all kinds of chemicals that make you feel like you’re in Cloud 9. In fact, when scanned, the brain of a person in love looks like the brain of someone who uses cocaine. So, you really feel “superior” when you fall in love!
However, as most of us know, that feeling of being in Heaven with your new love disappears after a while. Your brain eventually stops producing more chemicals that feel better, and you begin to return to normal.
In fact, this phase of love should not be a bad thing. It’s just a fact of life.
While some people continue to live happily, others begin to see that the so-called “perfect partner” is no longer so perfect. In fact, some have even come to realize that their partner is not emotionally strong.
Uh-oh. What do you do when that happens? It’s almost unbelievable – literally. How did this person become a person you have never met?
The problem is, you probably still love that person. And if that is true, how do you deal with your emotional partner?
Before we discuss how we can deal with these, let us first consider how we can identify the symptoms of an emotionally charged disorder.
Symptoms of Emotional Unrest
We all have our bad days and our mood changes – it’s just natural to be human. But how do you know if someone has crossed the line from normal, everyday feelings to a little emotional stability? Here are some of the symptoms.
Everyone gets angry sometimes. It is normal and natural for everyone. However, how you express your anger is the key to a healthy relationship. So, if your partner seems aggressive for no reason (or for the little things), then that is a sign.
Also, we all have things that happen in our lives that we don’t like. But many people just go through it, try to change things, move on with their lives. An unstable person, however, will turn his or her life into an endless drama when he or she does not need to.
Gas lighting mentally controls someone to ask if they are mentally healthy. For example, if they told you that they were going to do something, they would deny that they ever said it to you. Afterwards, you wonder if they really meant it or just thought of it. But that is just one example.
It is common for people’s feelings to change. No one can be happy 100% of the time, right? But for many, the mood swings are very small. Often it depends on something outside of them. But a person who is unstable may become emotionally paralyzed for no apparent reason.
When most people are angry, it usually comes in the form of someone close to them. That makes sense, for those are people with whom we spend a lot of time. But if your partner often yells at a restaurant server or other random people, that’s unhealthy.
Lack of empathy
Empathy is the ability to feel another person’s feelings and to see things from their point of view – not just yours. People who are emotionally unstable often cannot do this. They only see their side of the situation.
You are trying to “Grow” yourself
They always seem to be in a power struggle with you. For example, if you had a bad day, they would tell you how bad their day was. Or, if you argue, they will always try to get the power to “win” and lose you.
Failure to Admit When They Are Wrong
People who are emotionally unstable cannot admit when they make a mistake. In fact, admitting that they are wrong is harmful to their mental well-being. It shakes their essence and self-esteem. Therefore, they will never admit to being “defeated,” even if they know in private that they are wrong.
They think that they deserve everything, and there is nothing to be gained. For example, they want you to do things for them because they think it is their right to do so.
Unwisely Dealing With Problems
The best way to handle problems in a relationship is to have two people in one group, and to come up with a solution. However, people who are emotionally unstable cannot do this because they are only looking at things emotionally, not logically.
Ability to express their feelings too much. They do not usually have a balanced approach to communication. This can create a sense of movement in the egg shells around them because you are afraid of their great contact.
Unstable people do not even look at themselves in the mirror and take responsibility for their actions. Instead, they constantly point fingers at other people and blame them for all the wrongs in their lives.
How to Deal With An Unstable Emotional Partner
Now that we know some of the signs and symptoms of an emotionally unstable person, here are some things you can do to deal with it.
- Go Back Beware
Ask yourself if something went wrong. Because they tend to enlighten other people (see above), people who are emotionally unstable have questioned your actions and mental cleanliness. Have a purpose, be aware of yourself. Did you really do something wrong? Probably not.
- Get the Opinion of Others
Tell your stories to your loved ones. Tell them what’s going on in your relationship, and get their opinion on whether or not your partner is overworked, or if you’ve done something wrong. Someone outside may have a clear idea of what is happening.
- Don’t Play In Their Game
As the saying goes, “It takes two to tango.” In other words, one cannot play the game alone. They need someone to participate. But don’t give up on their game. Refuse to join and leave.
- Go When They Attack You
And if they bully you in any way, verbally or emotionally, just leave the conversation. Don’t let them do that to you! Get them to talk to you, and don’t accept anything less. If they can’t give you respect, then end the conversation until they can.
- Seek Respect
Remind them that the way they speak to you is not acceptable. The most important thing to remember is this: you are teaching people how to treat you. Ask them to treat you with respect.
- Stay Calm
Don’t get into their emotional turmoil. It’s easy to do because you want to protect yourself, but this is just a game. Try to stay calm and sensible because that is the only way people can talk in a healthy way.
- Do Not Cross the Fuel Lighting
When they tried to light a petrol lamp for him, he refused to accept it. Make notes on what they tell you and what you do, so you will have a record. When they try to deny the things that make you look crazy, pull out your record and show them the truth.
- Raise Treatment
Often, a person who is emotionally unstable cannot improve on his own. Going to a trained medical professional or psychologist is something they should be doing – both on their own, and perhaps as a couple.
- If All else Fails, End the Relationship
Unfortunately, not all relationships can survive – even under the best of circumstances. If you have tried everything you can to repair your relationship and make it healthier with someone who is emotionally unstable, sometimes it is just the end of the relationship and you find someone else who is very close to you.
Being in a relationship with someone who is not emotionally stable is not easy. You feel like you don’t know what to do or what to say next. But that is not the way to live. Everyone deserves to have a happy and healthy relationship. Don’t forget to love yourself enough to put yourself and your happiness first!
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