The following quote is one of the best descriptions of what pride is and how it negatively affects a full life.
“Self-harm is when we say we want something and then we go and make sure it doesn’t happen.” -Alyce Cornyn-Selby
When you have a habit of hurting yourself, you get in the way of your goals and dreams. Reasons to do this can be difficult, but there are ways to learn how to stop hurting yourself.
Why Do We Disability?
Self-injury is when we do something that interferes with our purpose or our dreams or goals in life. We want something, but somehow we don’t get it.
Many of us (including myself) engage in self-destructive behavior that has become habitual. We allow these behaviors and practices to undermine our right to success and happiness. The funny thing is that we often don’t even realize that we are doing it. These harmful thoughts and behaviors are a part of our lives, and we welcome that!
Your mind is designed to strengthen and control your life, but what many people do not realize is that, just as your mind is designed to control your independence, it also tries to control your mental behavior.
Your unconscious mind is the gatekeeper of your comfort zone. The subconscious has a cord that sees self-harm as a way to protect you, prevent pain, and keep you safe. When we want to get out of our comfort zone or do whatever we throw away, our first impression is to let go.
If we allow the thought of self-destruction to control us, in time our inner voice becomes an inner voice that prevents us from embracing new challenges and our lives to the fullest.
How Can You Recognize Your Self-Destructive Behavior?
The first step in overcoming the cycle of self-harm is to become acquainted with these traits. Once you know what self-injury habits, attitudes, and attitudes are holding you back, you can begin to take action to control the negative impact they have on your life
In her book, The Healthy Mind Toolkit, Alice Boyes helps the student to examine his or her thinking and behaviors that affect them in life and in love. She also offers simple, effective tips for overcoming these patterns.
Alice Boyes identifies 3 common ways for people to injure themselves:
- Postponing things
Instead of completing goals on time, you allow yourself to take your time or find excuses to stretch the timeline. You agree with many of the reasons for your inner voice why you should wait for the right time to start or complete a project or achieve a goal. Nothing will be found, and you end up frustrated.
- Negative Speech / Negative Thinking
Your inner voice is always critical, and you continue to blame yourself for your past mistakes. Thoughts of regret dominate your thoughts. Your self-esteem and confidence are at a very low level.
You tell yourself that you can’t take action until the right time or believe you need to accomplish your skills before moving on. Perfectionism is impossible to maintain in your life, and you will not move forward in any part of your life if you cling to it.
Once you understand what self-injury means to you, and you see your behavior and thought patterns, then you can take the initiative to learn to stop your self-injury.
How to Stop Hurting Yourself
Here are 4 steps you can take quickly to stop hurting yourself with your success and start living a longer life.
- Check Your Self-esteem
For many of us, our self-destructive ways and beliefs are rooted in our feelings of self-worth. Finding out what is causing you to injure yourself will help you to focus on specific changes to stop these behaviors.
In her book The Secret of Successful Women’s Thoughts: Why People Can Suffer Suffering From Postost Syndrome and How You Can Succeed Despite It, Drs. Valerie Young provides an in-depth study of Imposter Syndrome and five personality types .
Our little feeling is where Imposter Syndrome plays and self-harm. One of the five personality types of Imposter Syndrome is Perfectionist. In her book, Dr. Valerie Young offers practical tips on how to overcome Imposter Syndrome from the risk of injury to your health.
If you want to be free from any form of self-injury that is affecting your life, then reading Dr. Valerie Young’s book can be a good start for you to start working on what strategies to address the problem.
Take time to meditate
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -Eanan Roosevelt
Taking your time to understand why you keep shooting yourself in the foot is important. Self-esteem enables you to think about your decisions, decisions, and actions. It gives you the opportunity to dig deeper into yourself to gain a deeper understanding of your lower feelings and desires.
Only in self-discovery can you gain the necessary understanding, perspective, and understanding to begin the process of change and personal change.
- Deal With Your Fears
“We gain strength, courage, and confidence in each experience as we stand face to face with fear …. We must do what we think we cannot do.” -Eanan Roosevelt
The first step in overcoming resentment is to delay doing something. We procrastinate mainly because we are scared. The best way to deal with our fears is to deal with them. You will never be able to live a good, full, and happy life if you are always afraid.
Ask yourself if you really want to hurt yourself for the opportunity to live a full and happy life. I hope, the answer is NO. Then write down all the negative feelings, fears, or thoughts that you may have about why you should not pursue your goals or dreams in life. Keep rehearsing it until you can say no more with negative thoughts.
After that, look for all the negative fears or thoughts that you have written about them and, next to them, put an X next to those that could endanger your life. Hopefully there will be no X’s, and you’ll see that you have nothing to fear. So take that!
- Focus Only on Listening to Your Inner Direct Voice
“For me, it has always been a preparation, and the more I prepare each week, the less stress I feel and the more confident I am. As your self-esteem increases, it is only natural for you to feel some stress. ”-Aaron Rodgers
Fear is often the root cause of what holds us back. We are afraid that our inner critic is right; we believe that we are not worthy of happiness, we are not hard or bright enough, or we simply do not have the ability to be successful in life. These limited ideas and beliefs are useless, and your negative dialogue needs to be a little gossip you will never hear.
To live a satisfying and satisfying life, your inner dialogue also needs to be positive. You can choose not to engage in self-destructive behavior and thoughts by focusing on sending more and more positive thoughts to your inner person.
Confidence, practice of gratitude, appreciation, and acts of kindness are three practical steps you can take to have a positive attitude.
Once you have identified why you are showing signs of self-harm, you can then take action to learn how to stop self-harm and rise above these dangerous behaviors. The four steps above are practical steps that will help you to take control of your life so that you do not become afraid or insecure.
Your internal critic is no longer holding you back. It is your beautiful inner voice that inspires and supports you to seize those opportunities and pursue your dreams. That is what it means to live a healthy life.
“Don’t wait until everything is all right. It will never end. There will always be challenges, obstacles and situations under appropriate circumstances. Now? Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger, more capable, more confident, and more successful. ”-Mark Victor Hansen
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