Love is often represented as a sacrifice in ancient literature. From the lovers of “Romeo and Juliet” they went through great hardships and jumped many obstacles to be with each other. They do not stay together for long, they soon break up or die. Love does not come easily, it requires self-sacrifice, sorrow and unending sorrow for a brief moment of lasting happiness.
In my youth I read a lot of books about that hard, self-sacrificing love, and for a long time, my love was full of drama, tears and farewell. It seemed that without them, it was not love at all, but unrequited love. Luckily I saw the light, or I just got tired of suffering. Love for me is now a quiet, selfless sacrifice.
I’m 45, and I like to be critical sometimes. I would like to say that I do not believe in love, romance, and eternal happiness. I do not hesitate to let them know what I like and dislike. I tell them without hesitation again. From time to time I examined myself – did my heart turn to stone or did my soul become paralyzed? After all, after a day I could wait a few days for a single text to arrive, or I would leave the end of the world following his call. I did not hesitate to buy expensive gifts, just to please him, or to cook a meal based on my favorite pastime. I added endless friends, “What did he really mean by this?”
Naturally, “he” was different at different times: some I loved, some I lived with, some I just fell in love with, and some I dated hopelessly. The feelings aroused by male figures in my life were always controlled by “I can do anything with love”. This determination is now over, does it mean that the ability to love has been done?
In our youth we seek for ourselves, often to the detriment of our own selves. At 18-25 years we stand for something green. How can we know what we are like, when our limitations exist without forcing them to try different things? So, at first, we look forward to getting into any tests – with our image, work, gender, and love.
After 25 we create a certain framework for education and professional experience, and then hit the cones with sex and love. We are not restricted in our trials, it is very specific in our intentions. Some of us are already married and have children, or are starting to build relationships with those hopes in mind. We already have some understanding of life but we still have a little bit of our own understanding. We still combine our desires mixed with the desires of society. We put love in the place of sacrifice. We often believe that men need to be happy, or else they will stumble and go.
Maturity brings true knowledge about us. After the “blind” youth, living for “someone,” we begin to finally live for ourselves.
This does not mean that we do not need anyone. That we have succeeded, we think only of ourselves, alone. No.
Like when we were 20, we wanted love, love, we wanted relationships. We simply understand that healthy relationships are reconciling. Either the man has desires and priorities like us, or they do not stay in our lives for long. In the words of Omar Khayyam “I do not need someone who does not need me.”
Therefore, I AM NO LONGER:
- Expect calls or text messages from men. I am writing to myself, or deleting the contacts of those who are too busy to send the message “I’m sorry, I can’t speak now, I’ll call ASAP”.
- Go on a date, if time and space do not match my schedule. For the day to be enjoyable, it should be easy for both of them. If a man doesn’t care about women’s time or convenience, he usually doesn’t care about the woman. And such a man I have no interest in.
- Forgive the lack of gifts for my birthday and other important events. I like men who like to spend money on the woman they love, which is me. People who are financially stubborn often rely on everything else. Ignoring important days for me is ignoring everyone. Those we love, we want to please and please. Everything that matters to him becomes important to us. If you don’t care, or forget, or don’t think it’s important – don’t forget my number again.
- Seek the justification of unsuccessful and unsuccessful men. This does not mean that I only need money from a man. But bad love is not really a matter of the life of a mature woman. We were shot with bad and pure love back when we were in our 20s and 30s. In our 40s we have already built ourselves a comfortable life and we are not ready to give up there.
5.Shut up what I don’t like. Obviously I do not engage in endless opposition. But there are things that one person may not know just because he or she is someone else. If I don’t like to go too fast, it scares me, I won’t keep quiet or pretend. I say calmly, “Slow down, please, I’m scared and I’m scared.”
- We were afraid to ask any questions. I too am ready to answer any questions. In our youth, we are afraid to define the dark times, because we do not want to make a man feel uncomfortable, oppressive or annoying. But it is precisely this inconsistency that causes a wound within us. I no longer want to get hurt, so all the dots on Is from the walk.
- Wash one’s clothes. I don’t like washing clothes. It is a heavy burden and I am no longer doing anything for the man which is a burden to me. If she loves me – she will wash herself.
- Have sex with love. Sex can be associated with love, too. Love me for washing clothes, peace with me in the morning because in the morning I don’t like to talk, remember my cat’s name, and how much sugar I take with my coffee, bring a bunch of freshly cut flowers, come and quietly fix the taps. If all of this is not true and there is only sex – then we are just making friends.
- Be jealous of someone’s friends or work. Or children from previous relationships. If a man loves me, he finds time for me. She puts me on her busy schedule for meetings, trips, soccer matches or fishing with her son. Because I too live a full, busy life. When we both find time for each other – it means everything is fine, we have a relationship. If I am the only one struggling to find the time, and the man is always busy, it is a clear sign that I need to look for someone else to build the relationship.
- Try to look your best because of people. On the contrary, at the first meeting I could go straight to the front, being violent, and unlovable. I do not hesitate to talk about my problems or difficulties. Those who are genuinely interested will take the time and effort to look deeper.
I am 45 years old, and I am a beginner. Straightforward, firm, flexible, and unassuming. I have a hard time breaking, bending or breaking. I touched. But I still want to love. Just don’t be willing to sacrifice for that. Love – the process of creation, not self-sacrifice and destruction. Let’s create!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: