A few weeks ago, my engagement relationship with a long-term client turned into a rock. Losing them may mean losing a lot to my business, but it seems to be where we were headed. My mind raced with unpleasant thoughts. Perhaps the client had realized that I could not lead my team well. Maybe I wasn’t satisfied with being an entrepreneur. Maybe I wasn’t content to do anything.
Why was the world so unjust ?! In a moment, my anxiety had passed from the roof and my heart was racing faster than the F1 car engine. But I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Why Problems Overcome Us
As human beings, we are ready to solve problems, so they should not be a burden to us. Still, they did just that. Why?
Consider some of these situations in life. When relationships are directed at troubled waters, we wonder if our partner still loves us. Our mind receives memories of when we were disfellowshipped or rejected. We regret falling into the wrong people and tell ourselves we don’t deserve love.
How do you think the relationship will develop after that? If we cannot adhere to a diet, we think about other times when we have stopped. We remember what people said about things we couldn’t do and asked ourselves, “Were they right?” We tell ourselves we don’t have what it takes to succeed in anything.
Do you think we will find a way to stick to the diet after this? So here we are… thinking we are not good enough to be entrepreneurs, popular, promoted, or to achieve our goals. Notice the pattern yet? We are going the wrong way. The destination is to achieve the goal. And unless we stop giving in to emotions and start dealing with situations, we will continue to fail to get there.
Negative emotions (even the most agreeable ones) obscure our view. The more we focus on them, the deeper we get into the way we feel. We may become angry because things are not what we want them to be, or we may become paralyzed by fear of a worse outcome. This means that we are moving from one thing to another – to take action – to take action.
“If you can’t sleep, get up and do something instead of sleeping there and worry. Anxiety you experience, not sleep deprivation. “- Dale Carnegie
How to Deal With Problems
Most people are ready to solve problems. Where we meet is to find the right problem. To find the right problem, we have to deal with the situation instead of the emotions. We have to look at things as they really are, gather facts from what we are worried about, and ask ourselves, “What should I do next?”
In his book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,” Dale Carnegie wrote: “You or Einstein or the United States Supreme Court are not smart enough to reach a wise conclusion on any issue without first finding out the facts.”
To deal with a fraudulent situation with my client, I took the following three steps:
- First, I confessed the feeling
Solving the problem does not mean ignoring the emotions. It’s important to let them know how you feel because it paves the way, but getting your feelings domesticated is very important. I admitted my feelings by saying, “I feel anxious because the client may no longer want to work with us and this will be a financial loss to us.”
Notice how I said “I feel anxious” and not “lost.” If I had given in to a negative conversation, I would not have indicated the entry indicator (part after “because”). That is why the feeling of domestication is so important.
- Next, I prepared myself for the worst
We often run away from our worst fears than we do even though we know that the worst outcome is rarely fulfilled. The result is that we become increasingly entangled in fear rather than oppressed. And we never found out what we really could do, suck.
For me, the worst was the loss of a customer. It would be painful but it was true. However, we can find more clients. And we already have other clients helping us pay off debts. In other words, I wouldn’t be sitting on the street.
As I accepted this, a huge weight was lifted off my chest. This prepared me for the third and final step.
“Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Use what is coming. ”- Zig Ziglar
- Finally, I checked the situation
Examining the situation means setting aside your emotional burden and focusing on the facts. The more confident you are, the better off you will be in finding the real problem. As soon as I felt better, I could see things clearly.
I used the 5 Whys Technique (I ask “why” five times) to find out the real cause of client dissatisfaction. Then I gathered information about the problem and what we had brought before.
Finally, I approached the client’s CEO and held a detailed and constructive discussion based on my findings. Within four days, the CEO and I returned to the way things were before.
The best way to prepare for the future is to give today what you can. I am not sure if the issue with the customer is resolved properly even if the client will not collect and leave in one day. However, I am confident that I am better prepared to handle such cases today than I was yesterday.
Control your emotions instead of letting them run. Accept things as they are instead of what you want them to be. Be honest instead of cheating. Take things in stride and try not focus too much on the problem.
Do not choose lying ten miles ahead and paralyzed with fear. Speak openly in front of you and keep moving. One day you will be amazed at how close you are to your destination.
How do you proceed when all hope seems lost? Share your advice below!
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