3-year-old David was playing with his blocks alone because his mother was too busy and he had no one to play with. An hour later, he began spreading his blocks throughout the room. His mother came in and stumbled.
“How many times have I told you to play in one place? I don’t know what to do with you,” he shouted, as David listened quietly.
Often, parents are just as reluctant as their children when it comes to behavior. When they do something wrong, the parents respond immediately. What many misunderstand is one of the main reasons why a child misbehaves is receiving parental attention. Children crave parental attention, for good or for bad.
Send good messages
Children need to hear positive messages from their caregivers to promote healthy self-esteem and self-esteem. Of course, no parent knows what it means to undermine a child’s self-esteem, but even the best criticism is still there. Parents can correct their behavior in the hope that their child will do better or will behave in a certain way. Instead, they push the child forward, without realizing it.
Critisim sends the following message to your child: You are not good enough and, in my eyes, you will never be.
Every circumstance gives us an equal opportunity to encourage or discourage our children. The first step is to recognize the disappointment, and we can avoid doing so. You discourage your child from focusing on what he or she has done wrong, criticizing, humiliating, sarcastic, sarcastic, shouting, or punishing the child. You encourage your child when you see good manners and acknowledge him with words of encouragement. So start focusing on energy.
You discourage your child when you are overly protective and do things for him or her. You encourage your child to do things on his own and to help him develop his own independence.
You discourage your child when you expect him to be perfect and don’t accept anything less than him. The baby should be perfectly happy. You encourage your child when you allow him to develop at his own pace, keeping his age in mind and focusing on his efforts.
You discourage your child from expecting bad things every time he or she wants to try something. You encourage your child when you believe in his power and appreciate his eagerness to try new things.
The difference between praise and encouragement
A dictionary defines praise as ‘the act of expressing favor or admiration.’ Encouragement is defined as ‘encouraging with hope, courage, and confidence.’ The latter stimulates inner growth, helping children to appreciate themselves and increase their confidence in their abilities. They realize that, although they may not be perfect at the moment, their efforts have been well received.
Stop using words like ‘good’, ‘very good’, ‘wow’, ‘amazing’ that sound good but do nothing to encourage your child to do better. Instead, use a comment such as ‘I really like the red color you used on the ceiling’ or ‘Your toys were neatly removed’ or ‘Wear your own shoes today.’
These answers say to your child – ‘You are important to me. I realize what you’re doing. I have your time. Apart from encouraging the child to do better, they also help him to develop self-confidence.
Honesty is essential. So look for the things that you really love and enjoy. For example, suppose your child has been painting for an hour but has turned it into a real mess. If, in that case, you say you like the picture and you don’t really like it, your child will be able to see through you and gradually lose trust in your words. Instead, find something you really like about the situation and say it. For example, if you liked having a child sit in one place for an hour without bothering you and making an effort to try to draw, point that out.
Do not bribe your child by encouraging him or her
Some parents use encouragement to treat their children. The encouragement should be genuine and given to boost self-confidence, not to get something out of your child. Do not expect that because you have encouraged your child, he or she will now need to cooperate with you. Both are different issues; do not associate with them.
Always remember, the key is to look for strength and focus more on good behavior, to get the most out of it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: