People don’t seem to change, do they? They always seem to be. Doesn’t it seem like some people are hitting somewhere in their adult life and getting stuck where they are? You have seen these people, they are family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, and year after year they look exactly like you. The same dress, the same speech, complaining about the same things. They’ve been that one person ever since you got to know them.
What happened to growing up?
Slowly we set ourselves up. It doesn’t happen overnight, it can take years, but by the time you realize you are trapped, you will probably be free. Most of us follow in our parents’ footsteps and often make the same mistakes that they did. For many, they find themselves stuck in their own way and living a simple life. For some, it takes the darkest turns into drugs, alcohol, bad relationships. And for the few chosen, they see that they are following in their parents’ footsteps and decide “This is up to me”! For many who will continue to live a meaningless life, change will happen all around, but it will be all external and they will accept it as part of their identity. But more or less, they will remain the same people for the rest of their lives.
My parents are immigrants from India. My father was a military rival and my mother grew up in a middle-class family who was always afraid of losing everything. This is for a lovely childhood. Although both parents have stable jobs and we live comfortably, we have never been comfortable with. It’s been years now and my parents are still the same people I have been since I was able to imagine myself. Still, people who work hard, who live comfortably, but sometimes luxury is what will kill your dreams.
When I was growing up and starting to feel healthy, I tried my hand at college, quit, and started working in a warehouse. This was supposed to be temporary, but I was relieved to receive a steady salary. Before long, I was on my way from the 18-year-old picking box to the 30-year-old office manager. During those years, many things happened, some good, some bad, but somewhere in those years I got into trouble. Before long, each year he began to feel like the last one. The years began to pass like weeks, I was growing up, but nothing around me changed me. Although I had improved my career and got married, I was still the same person inside.
“We will not be what we need to be by always being.” – Oprah Winfrey
We all have wonderful things we want to achieve
It wasn’t that I wasn’t interested, it was all these great things I wanted to do. When I first started working in a warehouse, people would come to me and ask about my health plans and whether I was going to college. I foolishly told them everything I wanted to do and saw their impressive faces and bathed in compliments. There was this sense of motivation and accomplishment I found when I actually did nothing and did nothing. It was just nice to fill my ears with compliments. Also, I didn’t do any of the things I said I would do.
It wasn’t until recently that I discovered the secret to achieving your goals… keep your mouth shut. Telling people about your future and your goals sounds good, but that’s all you get, a feeling. You will find this almost overwhelming feeling about all the good things you will do and the people who listen often put your energy into action. Why not if you tell them things that are so impressive? They will tell you how great you are, how clever you are and go thinking you are a genius.
You will go away feeling happy, encouraged, and benefited after receiving all those compliments. All those feelings are false and what will ultimately prevent you from making any progress toward your goals. Your brain has just marked this goal in your psychological checklist and tells your body that you no longer have to worry about this activity. Your mind thinks you have done all these great things with all those “fun chemicals” it emits, tricking you into thinking you have achieved your goals and you no longer have to worry about this.
What if you start working without telling anyone?
Imagine for a second you were transposed into the karmic driven world of Earl. Then one day in an unusual conversation someone asked you what you had done and told them that you had spent a few weeks ago doing business online and got stuck in web design so you were researching some solutions. Now tell them about the goal you are making for progress. Such people will also praise you for progress, not put your head in the talk. People will see that you are actually taking action and becoming curious observers to see where it goes, and you may continue to progress and achieve your goal. I’m sure you’ve heard it’s about travel, not where you’re going. This works here, at first just start.
“Take responsibility for your health. Know that you are the one who will take you where you want to go, no one else. ”- Les Les Brown
But people are not always kind enough to pay compliments
People will not always praise and commend. Sometimes they can be completely shocked in every dream by their ideas and insecurities. Sometimes on purpose, they don’t understand at all. At the beginning of your journey, your focus is just beginning, consistency, eventually leading to the right people to see you. As you move forward in whatever you choose to do, you will want to get better at it and improve your work, at which point you will want feedback and analysis.
Suppose you would like to write screenplays, your first step is to start writing. You do not need to tell anyone what you are doing or why you are doing this, this is only important to you. As you progress, you will pick up books, read articles, follow blogs and people who help you grow as a writer. You will work every day, you will fail, life will happen, but you will keep your mouth shut and move on.
Eventually you’ll have a few screenshots and you want to see what’s next turned into feature film, and that’s when you want a critical response. At that time, you will be surrounded by people who can give you the answer and help you grow. You wouldn’t want that answer in day 1 would you? You can get discouraged and give up right away.
We all have dreams and aspirations, no matter how big or small. Elsewhere in our age we are trapped and allow outsiders to define who we are. You want change, you want to grow, you want to get out of this habit. Unfortunately, very few will come out looking for you, but if you are one of the few and want to see real success in your life next year. Just start, and keep your mouth shut.
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