If you’ve ever heard a well-meaning but flat talk like, “Chin up!” or “Rejoice!” just know this is not the thing. Now, when it has been said, it is important to know that a strong hope and encouraging language can have a positive impact on life. According to the Mayo Clinic, positive thoughts capture many benefits, including increased life expectancy, lower levels of depression and depression, greater resistance to common colds and better heart health. Sounds good, doesn’t it?
Of course, luck is not as straightforward as pulling out some glass-filled phrases and seeing that they stick. For many, positive self-expression is a skill level 14, and we are at level 2 trying to deal with that bad inner voice that seems to think we can’t do anything right. That’s a rumor, you’re a cheater after getting a great promotion. It’s screaming, not knowing that you can’t do this if you’re hesitant about a big job. It’s funny when those feelings come in because you have stopped your exercise and meditation routine.
This voice is one of our biggest obstacles. In order to be our biggest fan, our best, we must first face an angry fan who must be respectfully removed from the field. The important thing to note here is that we are not trying to silence or eliminate the critic forever. That is very unlikely and you will worry about your attempts. The purpose is to remove its power, its microphone, its wealth from your mind. Here are a few research-supported tips to get you on track.
- Mark and name the salty interior.
Have you ever stopped and thought, I am really angry right now, and that simple thought made you feel so angry? The same idea applies here. Just by being careful when giving a section our inner critic is undermining its power. Now, name it. It could be anything: Karen, Brian, Rudy, whatever you like. The goal is to make it a habit to recognize and point the finger at your inner critic as soon as it arises. The word allows us to separate thoughts from ourselves. I don’t think this; Rudy does.
- Get an idea for the conversation.
There are four types of negative self-expression, and identification allows us to get an idea and hold ourselves literally. By identifying and classifying ourselves, we can choose to let that thought go and give strength to others, even more beautiful.
Filtering: This is when something good happens, but Rudy filters all the positive aspects of the situation until we leave the situation changed.
Harassment: You live in a very bad world. Example: You forgot to go to the store last night and have run out of breakfast. You should skip or make time to stop, which will make you late for work. Rudy decides that this one action will hurt your whole day. And when you give Rudy power, that catastrophic thought becomes a prophecy.
Personalization: Something bad happens and you immediately think it is because of you. Maybe the project was canceled due to lack of funding, but Rudy decides it’s because he failed to deliver. This is the answer to the ego.
Distinction: Allows Rudy to color your idea into a black and white accent. Something good or bad, not in between. Maybe your friend has canceled dinner because you are dealing with her Rudy and you need time to take care of yourself. That’s not about you and it’s not really good or bad as it affects you. That’s just what it is.
- Track conversations.
After you get the idea and context in your negative speech, record it. You can do this by meditating, publishing, or speaking aloud. The purpose is not to write or meditate on all the evil that Rudy says to you today; rather, it is a log to keep track of your winnings. Now you have a record of every time you notice Rudy, you get a certain idea, and you give a different thought a little more power.
- Create an alliance.
It’s hard to entertain ourselves. It’s hard to admit our victory without letting Rudy come in and cast a shadow. Another trick is to name your inner fan, just as you have made your inner critic. Give him a name. Think about what your inner fan looks like and sounds like. Sometimes it is easier to get compliments from a friend than to compliment yourself. That’s where – we’ll call him Barry – he comes in.
Now, every time Rudy starts to raise his head, invite Barry to sort out some good ideas. For example, you just got a great promotion. Use the first three steps to break up with Rudy, and let Barry point out three good things to focus on.
You will feel uncomfortable trying this strategy, and it may not be yours. But it is important that you make good communication a priority and work on a variety of strategies until you find what works for you. Here are some of the ones we learned from three businessmen who had a problem with bad language.
Founder and CEO of Planet Protein, Inc.
West Palm Beach, Florida
Working on bad words can have a detrimental effect, so I try to talk to myself in a forgiving way. No business person is perfect because no one is perfect. As long as we study our lessons, good things will follow.
Journaling has had an amazing impact on my good speech. Keeping a daily journal has allowed me to express myself in a clean and pure form. My thoughts, speeches, and emotions are flooded into this magazine, which I can reflect on down the road. These beautiful words, re-read next time, allow you to see how far you have come. You will also begin to see how your business reflects your growth.
I prefer to celebrate victory with the people who helped make it happen. From employees to advisors to friends and even clients, people who support an entrepreneur’s dream should always be part of successes and celebrations. It is important for me to show them gratitude, give them back and continue to erase them through our business.
Obviously it’s important to have big goals in mind, and I encourage entrepreneurs to write them down. However, it is equally important to move around easily. Don’t be fooled if your goals aren’t met. Deleting expectations during this trip is the best advice I can give to my business colleagues. Learn to enjoy it and grow every day.
Founder and CEO of della terra shoes
I spent 16 years working for shoe companies, ignoring the fact that I would never be able to start a shoe line. I had a well-executed audio recording system that I would use when the title came up. I can explain the details of why the business was so dangerous for someone like me to enter. I was in my apartment recovering from COVID-19 when I realized there was a need in the world of fashion shoes, which could be filled by any of these “more appropriate” people or companies. I have decided that there is no better time to start now. When I started, the pieces fell into place.
I strongly believe in balance. Starting with a good note is very important as it sets the tone for what is to come – the remaining meeting, day, week, month, season, year. Even if things are challenging, I try to hit the reset button on the vibe. I have moments of doubt and impostor syndrome and I use this as an opportunity to use the power of the mind. I realized that I needed to let that deceiver have time. I check to see if any of my fears and doubts are there. After that, I made a plan.
First, start… something easier. Next, go ahead. Remind yourself of what you have accomplished today, this week, this month, this year. If it weren’t for the horror, it wasn’t worth doing.
Founder and CEO of Snapshyft
By all accounts, there is no valid reason to submit to the pain and suffering of #startuplife; self-sacrifice in friendships, family relationships, hobbies, financial security (meaning risking everything so that you have the opportunity to make a difference, and perhaps create an inheritance). I had a real problem during the first few years and I always compared myself and our company to others. This creates a toxic repository for self-expression.
I focus on keeping the keel as large as possible, which allows me to better filter my inner dialogue and good while setting the stage for improving at the right times (in times of doubt). I have worked hard over the past four years to develop good and bad speech. I like to keep it spread about 80 percent neutral, 15 percent straight, 5 percent negative. Being my champion invites others to participate with me. Some founders may eat this, which may help them to do the same.
We are all looking for hidden clues as to whether we are on the right track. It has helped me to admit how difficult a construction company is, and that I can’t be bothered – the difficulty goes with that plan, so deal with it. Yes, this is a life of self-sacrifice, but there are rewards in every way – my goal is to enjoy this journey, and to enjoy it. I try to focus on keeping my head down and taking only a few bites – I work to get 1 percent better each day, and I take moments all day to breathe, smile, and thank how lucky I am for doing what I do.
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