Anger is a deadly force that destroys our lives in every way. Sometimes it explodes in public and sometimes the anger hides it and weakens your health. Others face anger as power and strength. They feel it is necessary to maintain control. Some feel that they have a right to express anger toward those in their health. These are some of the lies that anger tells us. In fact, when we are angry, we lose our temper and our ability to respond wisely is diminished.
Here are 7 steps you can take to begin the process of preparation for mediation.
Step 1: Recognize that anger is a personal decision
Anger is not a form of power, power, or control. Poison. Sometimes it gives a temporary height. After a sharp decline, we are left weakened and less confident than before. Not only that, there are often side effects that need to be addressed.
Anger really reduces your focus, creates confusion and limits your ability to find constructive solutions. When tempers flare, stop, breathe a sigh of relief, and immediately look at the bigger picture. Put this event in context. In the meantime, let someone else be “right”. Tell yourself that you have plenty of time to be present later. Your main goal is to calm down so that you can see the whole picture clearly.
Step 2: Identify 24 types of anger
Anger hides itself and finds many subtle ways of expressing it. Anonymous anger turns into all sorts of unwanted behavior. When this behavior is misunderstood it is very difficult to correct. Awareness is essential to making the necessary changes.
Some of the 24 types of anger are: disappointment, accountability, coercion, perfectionism, gossip, and certain forms of competition in the workplace. When you realize that this is likely to happen, you can take practical steps to cope with it.
Step 3: Start Balancing Relationships
Balance Relationships are a natural flow of energy, support and motivation between individuals. When this flow is balanced people work at their highest level. When the flow is restricted or unequal, people experience depression, apathy, illness, and irritability. When a person feels needed and approved, there is no limit to their ability to use their full potential. Think of a balanced relationship. Write down what this means for you and notice how it compares with the reality of your situation. This first step provides a map and new focus. Provides access point.
Step 4: Find Your Relationship Quotient Relationship
Make a list of each co-worker. Score points for each of the following questions from 1-10. See for yourself what is going on.
a) I feel comfortable with this person.
b) I trust this person.
c) I communicate naturally with this person.
d) I understand those who speak to me.
e) I can ask this person what I want from him or her.
f) I can give this person what he or she wants from me.
Examine what is happening in your most important relationship. Find out what you want in each relationship. Divide your needs and wants into your own. Start talking about your feelings in a positive way and ask what you really need and want. Start listening to the real person, who they really are, not your photos or their agendas.
We can often be in a long-term relationship without even realizing who they are. As you begin to take the above steps, you will make natural changes in getting this relationship back on track.
Step 5: Stop blaming
Blaming others is one of the main reasons for creating inequality in your relationship and keeping anger at bay. Stop blaming. By blaming others you are empowering yourself. By taking responsibility you regain control. Pause and see the situation with your opponent’s eyes. When you do this the suspension melts right away. And, remember, the best protection against harm is feeling good about yourself and the way a person responds says more about them, than about you.
As you stop blaming you will be releasing all sorts of anger. Anger inevitably affects our well-being and always returns to us. Look and find the best for each person. Focus on that.
Step 6 – Create realistic expectations
Nothing makes us angry and sadder than the expectations we held that never came true. It is important that you know what to expect from your relationship. Are they real? Does anyone else have the same hopes? Let go of irrational dreams. Once this is done, the chances of further anger are minimized.
Step 7 – Develop a Gratitude for Gratitude
See what different people in your life are really giving you. Most of the time we take things for granted and we don’t know everything we get every day. Take time to write down what you find each day. Thanks for that. Make a point of thanks. The more we thank others, the happier we become. Also, take time to write down all that you gave to others that day. It may surprise us. We tend to think that we give more and receive less. This is a major cause of anger, poverty and emptiness within. However, when we take time each day to write it down and look at it carefully, we are often amazed at how much we receive and how much is given. As we look closely at it, and compare the two activities, we learn to be happy with what we have given and what we have received.
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