Seven Minds of Patience
Life does not provide many guarantees, but here is one: You will face challenges and get stuck.
Maybe a drunk pizza delivery driver will drive you in a Smart Car on Wednesday afternoon as happened to my neighbor last year. (She is almost completely healed.) You will probably be buying wedding rings while your girlfriend buys an apartment with her new boyfriend. (The one who bit me, but 13 years later I can see that it led me to my wife.)
Whichever way you hit, you always have two options. You can fight predestination and add layers of anxiety to the problem, or patiently choose an obstacle and use it as a trigger to start the fire of your life.
In the low season, while sitting in the living room of life, patience is a great strength. But by embracing these seven minds, you can run the circles around the challenges of life.
- Accept where you are.
“Accepting what happened is the first step in overcoming the consequences of a particular tragedy.” —William James
Rob Bell started one of the fastest growing churches in America, wrote the New York Times best-seller, and was named one of the 100 most influential people in Time magazine.
When Hollywood offered him a TV show, he connected.
Despite his success at church, Rob realized it was time to move on, and he prepared to shoot his own TV show. But soon, Hollywood stopped responding, and one night Rob fell into a trance and became lazy.
Welcome to The Waiting Place, Rob. Pull the seat; this will take a while.
He had deleted his calendar for 12 months, and suddenly he had no reason to get up in the morning. He could have come out. He could start to get angry and insulted and suspicious. No one could blame him – he had sold 100 hours of production a week with a broken promise.
But Rob’s ingenuity is a myth. He knew that failing to accept his condition would lead to a difficult road ahead, and that patience was a medical requirement.
He has spent the lowest season of his life making old friends, not rushing back to work. One of those friends suggested he try podcasting. More than 250 episodes later, his show The RobCast is one of the top podcasts in the world, and he travels around the world talking to a sold-out audience.
- Patience is not idle.
“Patience is also a factor.” – Auguste Rodin
Once you have made an honest assessment of your condition, your actions will work much better.
I know that patience is not the name of the big beast of production, which is meant to stabilize the axis of the universe. But patience gets bum rap. It doesn’t mean sitting down, thinking positive thoughts between pizza packs and waiting for the opportunity to fall into your lap, or the source of the explosion in your gut area (probably just a packet of pizza).
Patience is just a way of thinking “no thanks” to worrying. An impatient person struggles with the truth, letting it create stress, weakening it. A patient person accepts what is right and works in that area of power.
When I came back from Africa with nothing to show for it except the part of my life that I had saved filled with air, I was shocked. How do I pay the mortgage on my new home? How can I get back to doing a good job of maintaining my identity as a social entrepreneur?
I thought about taking people to court, hiring a private investigator, and in my darkest moments, having criminals break skulls.
Then I accepted that I could not fix the situation, I could just let it go. My future was no longer in that business. I decided to wait patiently for my life to change, and I spent four months fixing up my house. I learned plumbing, electrical, and carpentry. At last I felt my confidence come back and I found an employer who would pay off my mortgage.
- Be a Stoic.
“Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one goal: Some things we can control, while others do not.” – Epictetus
Quickly – name the first three people you can call “stoic.”
I bet the other is your 90-year-old grandmother who survived the war by collecting unscathed cans. Maybe think of Winston Churchill or John Wayne.
Rub those pictures from your head. Stoicism does not require a strong lip gloss, it simply asks you to deal with what you cannot control, let alone something else.
Things you can control: your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. Things you can’t control: everything else.
When you get caught in The Waiting Place, you will be tempted to launch a thousand ships against fate. Maybe you get fired and decide to file a felony dismissal. Maybe your business is collapsing and you will speak ill of your poorly seen investors.
Ima. Pouring your energy into recycling is like rearranging the seats in the Titanic.
The Stoics anticipated and planned the challenges, and greeted each obstacle patiently, not just as an opportunity to grow, but as a raw material they placed on a ladder that led to the wall. Be a Stoic.
- View low seasons as gifts.
“You can get confused and start running long and winding roads at breakneck speed and then cross long distances across a strange wild space, heading for it, scared, going to a very useless place. A Waiting Attack… ”—Dr. Seuss
I would take a totally disrespectful position by disagreeing with the honorable Dr. Seuss.
The Wait Center is inactive; it is an important opportunity to explore your health patiently from 30,000 feet and plan a new, better course.
The business is full of stories of businessmen who had the Midas touch, but failed miserably, returning to exile. In 1975, Ray Dalio started his own investment company, Bridgewater Associates, and began filling the big Scrooge McDuck rooms for his clients. But in the early 80s he predicted the collapse of the global economy and got into all that betting.
Yes, the non-cooperative economy has continued with bullfighting for 18 years. He lost everything and had to fire all his last job, even borrowing money from his father to buy food. In the aftermath of this massive and devastating civil war, Dalio would have given up. Instead, he saw this return as a gift.
“Looking back, my crash was one of the best things that ever happened to me because it gave me the humility I needed to control my temper,” he writes in his best-selling book, Principles.
Dalio has used his low season to create a “fitness vision” in Bridgewater, a management system that receives the best ideas from employees while managing risk. His firm is now the world’s largest fund, with about $ 125 billion, something he admits would not have been possible without his 1982 poison gas poisoning.
- Frustration does not open doors.
“What, I’m worried?” —Mad Magazine
Modern conveniences have slowed down the patience. We get instant feedback from Google, overnight delivery from Amazon, and we can even check out the hundreds of people we can partner with for the sixth life on our phones.
So when we launch a new business and Facebook doesn’t buy it after 12 months, we feel like a failure. Achieving any value takes time. Life is built on the “weed control” process, and those who do not want their goals to be bad enough to reduce patience often do not see that they are achievable.
An impatient person pushes success away. A mental friend published a novel at the age of 19, and now at the age of 23, without a second contract, he feels like his writing career is over. We need to lower our expectations.
What happens when you put your manager on another promotion after three months? You show your immaturity. Successful retailers are aware that requesting a sale sooner takes the business away, and you may need three, five, or ten meetings to close the deal. In the end, the calm prevails.
When we get caught, the situation we use to deal with the situation can quickly lead us to The Waiting Place, or have deep circles in deep concern.
- Patience is natural.
“Nature is not fast, but everything is perfect.” – Lao Tzu
Nature is a master of patience. Trees shed their leaves and bears in winter to survive winter. The oldest seed to germinate was a radiocarbon dating back some 31,800 years. Healthy births occur only after nine months.
Similarly, fast-paced art has no beauty. Early software launch creates bugs and damages product value.
Take a moment to think about the biggest challenges in your life. Are they solved, somehow? Yes they did, and they no doubt taught you valuable skills. Can you even laugh at them now?
Life of good times and bad is guaranteed. Both good and bad will pass. It is natural to be patient, because nature cannot be rushed.
You, who are sitting here reading, are the culmination of a universe with at least 13.7 billion years. Waiting for another few months or years is not the end of the world.
- You will come back stronger.
“Let it be known that you are difficult.” – Dr APJ Abdul Kalam
For 41 years, Mel Robbins’ history looked like this: unemployed, penniless, failed marriage, drinking problem, hitting the snooze button. Low season? No to him it was winter under the rocks.
Suddenly, he decided that tomorrow he would count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and jump out of bed. His practice worked so well that he applied it to other areas of his life.
He had stumbled upon a mental deception that started the frontal cortex, the area that controls function and attention. In those five seconds, he eliminated the frustration of the troubled mind, and immediately began to work.
Robbins accepted where he was and mentioned his problems. He took the initiative and focused on what he could control. I’m not sure he saw his low time as a gift, but without it, he certainly wouldn’t have stumbled on “The 5-Second Rule.”
A few years ago he had published a best seller and used his philosophy of “Do it Anyway” to make a comeback. He is now one of the world’s most sought-after public speakers.
Between Failure and Success
In a world of personal development, there is no shortage of well-intentioned reminders for those who have not yet done “so far”.
“Successful people are a great failure,” we are told. “No pain no gain!” Okay, but this cheerleading doesn’t help pay off debts or escape crippling humiliation.
What do you do in that Waiting Point between failure and success? How do you handle the part of the journey between trying and succeeding?
Most people prefer to go around, digging their hole deep. But special life requires that we know ourselves. Patience is a remedy for frustration and anxiety, hydra depriving us of our Great Work.
It’s okay to fail, get stuck, or not get as close as you’d like. What’s wrong with pouring gas into your problems is self-defeating and hopeless.
You are the owner of your great power, and you may find that you really enjoy waiting.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE: