Small Stories

Three Kicks Law!


A large city attorney went on a duck hunt in rural North Wairarapa.

He finally shot down the bird, but it fell into the farmer’s field across the fence. As the lawyer climbed on top of it, an elderly farmer drove his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The lawyer replied, “I shot the duck fell into the field, now I’m going to get it.”

The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you don’t come here.”
The angry lawyer said, “I am one of the best lawyers in New Zealand and if you don’t let me get that duck, I will sue you and take everything that belongs to you.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Obviously, you don’t know how we resolve disputes in North Wairarapa.
The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?”


The farmer replied, “Well, because an argument happened on my land, I have to go first. I kick you three times, and then you kick me three times over and over, and then you go back until someone stops.” The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed competition and decided he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to comply with local custom.

The old farmer slowly got off the tractor and went to the lawyer.
His first kick kicked the toe of his heavy metal boot into the lawyer’s hole and knocked him to his knees!

His second kick to the lawyer sent the attorney’s last meal out of his mouth.
The lawyer was in the top four when the farmer kicked a third in the back, sending him face to face with the new cow.

The lawyer called for all his will and the remaining power and gradually he was able to stand up. Wiping his face with the arm of his coat, he said, “All right, you old man ****. Now it’s my turn.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “You know what? Take a duck.”




Categories:Small Stories

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