Have you ever wondered why some people handle such failures? They take issues seriously and do not let anything stop them from working towards their goals. How do they do it? Are these people stronger than you and me? Yes they are. Yes, yes and no.
You see, mental toughness is a complex concept, not easily summarized by the fact that one person is more difficult than another. But in this regard, when we compare the ways in which we deal with failure, the person who takes it well is more difficult mentally in terms of failure than the person who does not.
That is because the strength to stand firm and to hold back from failing is one of the six factors that make up for strength. Although, building this kind of mental strength is not easy. Those who are able to deal with failure go straight ahead and go beyond all else have one thing in common wabo their view of failure.
How to Cultivate a Positive Attitude
Telling people to have a positive view of failure can be met with some opposition. The essence of failure means that it is not the results we want, so why should we feel confident about it? I think this is based on the mistaken notion that having the right attitude means you want to fail.
After all, we would all like to succeed every second. That’s not how success works, in fact, when your goals rise, more failures are likely to occur. But that doesn’t mean you should want to fail.
Having a positive outlook means changing the way failure affects your health. Instead of letting that happen to you, you can choose to use it wisely. To do that, you need to start thinking about failure in a different way.
“The difference between middle class people and people who have achieved their vision and dealing with failure.” – John C. Maxwell
See Your Hands
After a failure, it is natural to be overwhelmed by anger. You may be angry with yourself, your environment, or your own failure. This wave of anger often comes from you wanting to control it. None of us like to feel powerless, which is why anger becomes an emotionally secure response.
When we get angry, we seem to have more control. However, the control we aim to achieve does not usually involve aspects of life that are actually within our control. That’s when you start blaming everyone for your failures and think of all the things you could change or do differently to avoid total failure.
At this point, however, it cannot be used to focus on the past or the cause of failure (unless it is attention as a means of learning). When you continue to be emotionally invested in the past or want to control what you may not be able to achieve right now, the most difficult management failure will be.
So, what do we control after suffering from relapse or failure? Simply put, we are. How we react emotionally and what our next steps will be are the areas in our hands that need attention.
Failure has happened, accept it. Don’t spend too much time living in the past or feeling sorry for yourself. Right now, you have a good choice, either to continue to feel sorry for yourself and to let anger get the better of you or to decide to deal with your failures and focus on your best.
The next time you are a failure, try to focus on these important areas:
Your Thinking: What thoughts come to mind when you fail? Do you criticize yourself or use constructive speech?
Your Attitude: What is your attitude toward failure? Instead of viewing it as a personal failure, view it as a learning experience (more on this in the next section).
Your attention: Are you focusing on your past, looking at all the things you wouldn’t do better? Or do you put all your attention and energy into improving yourself and moving forward?
See Failure as a Literacy
Although we cannot control whether failure happens to us, it is entirely up to us to decide how we view failure. For some reason, we feel that failure should be viewed in a negative light.
Holding to this view is what leads to the overwhelming fear of failure. We create all these negative and frightening consequences around failure, that it is natural to fear when it happens to us.
Or, there is another option. We all know that failure will happen, so it is wise to start using it to our advantage. All it takes is to start using your failures to change your perception of what it means to fail.
Instead of dwelling on negative events, do what is practical to cope with each problem. Every time you fail, you grow one step closer to your goal. It can serve as an amazing opportunity to learn what works and what doesn’t and to change your course accordingly.
When you start to see failure as a lesson, your perspective on it becomes a very big goal. You will not take a math lesson in person; just learn from it. Have the same attitude toward failure. See it as a practical lesson, for it helps you to make your way closer to success.
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